I missed the last three days of school, and I'm loving it! :D

First: I love you all so so much! Thank you for commenting on my recent post, they all really help me. I'll try to get to everyone's blog today. I haven't been able to for a reason I am about to explain. O_O


So, for the past four days I've been sick... I went to see  doctor on Sunday, and I weighed 226. Gained a pound from all my binging. Blah.
But anyways, apparently there's this bad cold going around, and I caught it. It lasts for 4 weeks and the medication doesn't even work right away, so right now I'm still laying here with a headache and sore throat typing on my laptop. I haven't been online much in 4 days. I've been sleeping this entire time. XD
(Lazy ass...)

I haven't eaten much..
My intake yesterday was a small bowl of tuna (which I didn't even eat all of it because my cat was literally begging for some, and her big ass eyes looked so pathetic.. thank you, kitty, for saving my fat ass from eating the entire fucking can.), a cup of hot chocolate, and then later a small bowl of stuffing... so much for my fast, but I was delusional and not really thinking about what I was doing when eating. :/

So, today I'm planning on fasting. I'm not really hungry at all, and my throat hurts too much to swallow anything, even water.

Tomorrow I'm going to be sticking to a two week plan for Christmas break. This is what my idea sort of is, and I heard that it is supposed to trick your metabolism as well by switching up the amount of calories each day.. we shall see:
Day 1 (today)- Fast
Day 2- Stay under 100 calories
3- 200 calories
4- Because it's Christmas Eve, I'm going to try to restrict as much as possible, but remain under 500 cals. If anything, I should eat less because my family opens gifts on Christmas Eve, so that should be distracting enough. But God knows how bad I am at controlling myself.
5- 600 calories (probably going to stay under. Damn Christmas..)
6- Fast
7- Getting my Wisdom Teeth removed!! :D
SO FAST! ^^

10- Fast
11- Fast
12- 90 calories
13-100 calories
14- 400 calories
15- 200 calories
16- Fast
--------------------

So, I can only hope that I'll stick to my plans. *crosses fingers*

On a random side-note:
I have officially found my personal miracle food: Boiled Egg whites.
Only 17 calories per an entire egg white, and they're extremely filling too.


ILY ALL SO SOSOSOSOOOO MUCH, EVEN IF I'M NOT LOVED BACK, IDC, I HAVE TOO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE RIGHT NOW IN MY DELUSIONAL STATE. 8D
(I'm such a creeper, nya... >.>')

Stay strong!!! xox

P.S.: Ignore Fat Bastard.. he's only a troll. :/

Couple of bad weeks.

But I have so much encouragement from my family; they don't know about me and ana, but they know I've lost 11 lbs. (I probably gained it all back though- I don't know, I don't feel like going on the scale... ugh.)
They all know, and all are telling me "Wow.. you're looking better..." (not good, but better, since they know I'm a whale. )
Honestly, I'm glad I failed. now I have the encouragement and will to start over again, and I will keep trying until I succeed. Binging will not take over my life anymore...

I'm going to do a fast until Christmas tomorrow... that's only about 2 weeks, I think I'll be able to make it. Then again, I said that last time. Hmph. We'll wait and see. :/

If I don't make the fast, I'll break it with a glass of Ovaltine choco milk, broth, jello, or some sort of liquid.

I'm going to be getting my wisdom teeth out on the week of Christmas vacation! This is a wonderful thing! :D
I won't be able to eat any solid food for about two-three days! This will be a perfect time to fast, even after Christimas!
..if I look at it that way.... it doesn't sound to bad, LOL.

I mean, I even stole about 6 cigarettes from my parents. They've been sitting in my dresser for a week, because I've been waiting to fast before using them. T_T'

I'm such a failure...

I'm planning on getting a few books from Barnes and Noble tomorrow... I haven't read a whole book for entertainment in a few years. O_O

No wonder my grammar is off. XD

That should distract me from eating for a while. 

And even though I'm not a big Twilight fan (I'm kind of anti-Twilight... D: )

but I've been watching it just because K-Stewart is so gawgussss. <3333

And I want to rent Eclipse tomorrow... my mom and sister like the movies, so I'll have an excuse to watch them without them calling me a closet Twi-hard.. >.> 

No. -_-

(And Taylor is love...& Robert looks like a pedo.. LOLOLOL. o_O)

I miss you all. :(

I'm going to try to catch up on how everyone is doing. (aka, stalk you... )

Stay Strong... unlike me... x/

60 day water fast.

Starting Tomorrow, officially.
A 30 day fast is too little for what I've eaten.

I feel so sick from all those chips, and other shit I had.
I need to purge. Ugggh. Stupid me. I'm still so pissed. ;_;

Shiiiit.

I don't even know what to do now... I want to purge and exercise, but at the same time, I feel like it won't do absolutely any good, and yet..
Now I'm just really confused and annoyed with myself. I was doing okay all week, and then these past two days really fucked everything up. -_-

-_- Binged....

So... I'm planning on doing a 30 day water fast because of it. 

(Including the 0 calorie vitamin water)

So, yeah...

*typical fatass failed again*

After my fast, I'm going on a Vegan diet. I really do want to be Vegan- not only for health and weight loss, but because I'm a huge animal lover/tree hugger. 

I still can't believe I binged today.

I was home sick, saw chips, ate them....the whole fucking bag. Mom came home, made hamburger helper, and I ate that too. Then I made two chocolate milks (Ovaltine)

At least I had one last day to taste all that greasy crap. >.>

I swear, if I gain any weight, I'm going to kill myself. Fuck, I need more self control. 

Lalalala. :)

So today was my birthday.
This morning, I had half an orange, but I didn't really eat the orange. I only sipped out the juice then threw out the pulp...
I had a grilled chicken sandwhich after school (my mom got my brothers mcdonalds, so I thought I'd have a bit, and learn to contol my eating rather then just avoid food altogether.), but I didn't finish at all. My mom got me a medium fry, but I only had a few. I was seriously full after that. (drinking water with it helps, haha.)

Then I had a piece of icecream cake... I only ate the outside, where the icecrea, was, and then I got full again. (I think my stomach may have shrunk a little. Yay! I actually feel full for once like a NORMAL person!)

Then I went for a long ass walk to burn the calories off. Freezing, but it wasn't that bad. I would have jogged if it wasn't so cold.

Yepp.
So... blahh.

I'm 225 lbs. :)
Yay!

Lalala.

So today I ate some cereal with milk.

It was a small handful of cereal, about 1/2 cup. I used a 1/3 cup to measure the milk, and I measured a small amount twice.

Surprisingly- this filled me up.... I must be getting used to everything. :o
(I hope.. *worries about binging*)

I had two bottles of 0 calorie Life Water (which is basically vitamin water.)
It tastes SO good! Especially the Strawberry flavor...
I wish we could buy those in packs. :(
I got all my needed vitamins for the day, I feel SO much better then yesterday. XD

11 pounds....

is how much I've lost since the last time I had visited the doctor.

...
I figured I may have lost 5-6 lbs, thinking that my scale didn't give the right weight, but sure enough, 230 at home, 230 at the doctor's!
I was there at the end of October, I believe , so I lost 11 lbs. within 1 month. :o

...guess that means I have to change my highest weight, which was actually 242 and not 240. MOO.

;_;

Oh well. 8D

And... aw...
I wonder what happened to Ari's blog.... D: